The Story Behind "The Story"

When I originally got sick, I thought it was just your run of the mill flu.... never did I imagine that one week later my life would be forever changed. As I sat in the ophthalmologist office with Ryan at my side I began, for the first time, to get really scared. My doctor rushed in and out and did a lot of tests that I had never experienced before (and I've been to my fair share of eye doctor appointments). When he started asking me who my primary care physician was and told me to IMMEDIATELY go get an MRI, I knew it had to be serious.  It was at this point that he discussed the possibility of Multiple Sclerosis. He said I definitely had Optic Neuritis but needed to find out exactly why. I remember sitting on Ryan's lap in one of the waiting chairs my face and head pounding wondering, "How in hell did I end up here and could MS really be the underlying cause of ALL this pain?"

Now, let's back track a few years.... When Ryan was in Afghanistan in 2010 I had went to a retinal specialist to check my eyes. Many years ago I had surgery to re-attach my retina in my left eye so I make it a point to always follow up. At this point I was seeing weird flashes of light so I was concerned maybe it was detaching again. My eye doctor said there was no evidence of retinal detachment but she did see something called snow banking syndrome in my right eye (uveitis). She said it could be associated with MS and I should go check it out. I, of course, ignored her. After Ryan came home my PCP also encouraged me to go get an MRI just to make sure. I, once again, ignored her.

Fast forward to now. SHIT!! Why am I so stubborn? Part of it was me just not wanting to know... (that's a really heavy diagnosis).... another part was me truly thinking I was invincible. MS? Me? No way in hell. I am perfectly fine...... Never mind my clumbsiness, fatigue, numbness and tingling in my arms, constipation, uveitis, and constant pain. Those are all symptoms that can be contributed to sooooo many things.... right?

Once I got the MRI of by brain it was nothing but a waiting game really. All I needed was the confirmation from the doctor. As the weekend ticked away my pain grew worse and my heart grew even heavier. As I looked back at all my symptoms and researched about the disease the call I had been waiting for was inevitable....

"I'm sorry Mrs. Wilson. You indeed have MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS. There is nothing more I can do for you. Please find a neurologist."

holy shit.