Finally done with the IV infusions..... HOORAY

Holy shit, I look like a human pin cushion.... I have so many pin sticks.... after three days of IV steroid therapy and multiple blood draws, I am so glad to say that I am on to my oral dose of my wonder drug. So many thanks go out to Sweet Shaky Susan. She was so wonderful to me. I could not have asked for a better nurse.

My vision has NOT returned to normal but it IS getting better. My colors are becoming more vibrant but things are still blurry. I wane back and forth between feeling almost human again and being truly exhausted. I wish my body would just make up its mind. I am clumsy and I swear I might be losing my marbles. *sigh* MS is such a stupid disease. I can honestly say though, I will take the awkwardness and tiredness over the horrific pain and blindness that plagued my body for three weeks straight.  I never EVER thought I would say this but,  I honestly can't wait to drive again. It is so weird but losing that part of your independence. Having to be chauffeured around like a diva.... what a crock.


And then there is this issues of the MRI's...... The first MRI I had was of my brain and my eyes. I was a nervous wreck and had to be sedated. I am horribly claustrophobic and the thought of being in that machine with all its noises and tight space makes my heart beat fast just thinking about it. I don't remember a lot about it all except being in so much pain and ridden with more anxiety then I've had in a long time. Ryan was allowed to come into the testing room with me and stood at the foot of the table touching my legs and feet the entire time. Although I was comforted by his presence, the enclosed space nearly sent me over the edge. I can't say how I made it through that experience. I cried a lot and prayed to God to give me the strength to endure.

When looking at an MRI of the brain with MS you will see multiple white spots where the brain should look gray. I had 19 lesions. yikes. They also looked at my eyes to see if there was any damage to my optic nerve itself due to my vision loss. They saw minimal inflammation which was a good thing.


I am scheduled for another MRI of my cervical spine tomorrow. The cervical spine is essentially the neck to just past the shoulders.  The doctors will be looking for  syringomyelia and/or transverse myelitis. These are two common spinal disorders that can be found with people who have MS. It can determine my course of treatment and my life style so it is important that they check to be sure my spine is healthy and no lesions are seen.

Thankfully, I will have my mother-in-law by my side tomorrow. I wish my mommy could be here but unfortunately time and circumstance do not allow.  I couldn't make it through these weeks without Mrs. Mary though. She has dropped her whole life to come to Texas to take care of me. I know she will hold my hand and help get through this this season of my life. I truly am blessed.

Unfortunately, I will have to have many more MRI's now that I have this ugly disease so, I guess I will have to learn how to deal with this...... I HATE THIS DAMN DISEASE.

I just want my life back.... I'm working on it.

--Warrior